Tuesday, October 26, 2010

There's Too Many Webs in My Head.

sigh, going back to college on 8th of November. the best thing yet is that i have no place to stay. YEAH MAN, saya tidak ada tempat utk tinggal bila saya balik kolej nanti. sial kan? ugh. told my mom about it, and she was like "oh yeke, suruh la kawan awak tolong carik kan ke" dude, i just got another few days to find a house or at least a room, why can't you just let me go find one?? another one " awak duduk rumah sendiri nnt awak sanggup ke nak jalan pg kolej?" WTF IS THIS??? bagi jela aku guna kereta, time org niat nak belajar cmni la jadi nya, macam macam ah. sheesh, susah sgt ke. weekend ni dah la TERPAKSA pg bukit merah, weddings, sigh, hate weddings, next week dah start class, shit man. how am i suppose to study like this? stress siot, duduk rumah takde rehat, pastu tiba2 dah masuk kolej, mmg terrrbaikk ahh!!!  banyak sial nak kena fikir. masalah masalah. why can't you just switch to some other lane.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Little Tony on Getting Older

Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.

After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time ?"

Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own f ** king business."

I LOVE Little Tony !!!!! 

Little Tony on Grammar


Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss !!"

The teacher replied, 'Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'

Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."

Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN !"


One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

She said, "Excellent, Michael !"
Then the teacher reluctantly called on little TONY.

"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, just f ** king beautiful !'"

Little Tony on English

Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word ?"

Little TONY says, "Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."

Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

Little Tony on Math Again

Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father.

"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3,' " I said "6", replies TONY.

"But that's right !" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2 ?"

"What's the f ** king difference ?" asks the father.

"That's exactly what I said !"

Little Tony on Maths

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left ?" She calls on little TONY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU."

"There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married ?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on'," but I like your thinking."

Lodda Shit

Last night I incredibly slept unusually early, which was 9.15 to be exact. I dreamt of my kampung in Melaka, and at that time i saw me and my brother(Fariz) there. We went for a walk to the nearby shop, to buy some stuffs which i did not remembered what or why did we walk to the shop in the first place. *duhh where the effin car??* okay back to the dream, after we settled at the shop, we walked back. This was when it all started. The path we took on the way home was not the same as the path we took earlier. So don't mind that unfunny situation, while we were heading home, I saw this one big black dog more like a grim more like a rotweiler(idk how to spell), well conclude that it was one nasty bastard son of b*#$h. AND IT WAS RUNNING FRANTICALLY AFTER US. Hell yeah! We ran as fast as we could and I threw what we bought at the shop at that dog, unfortunately, its still running, chasing, panting after us. We tried to outrun it, we ran and ran like its the end of days. I looked at the back of my shoulder, the huge black nasty dog was just inches behind me getting ready to jump for its meal. Its mouth fully furnished with fangs and outlayered by its drool. Its paw clenched in every step it took, showing off its filthy sharp claws ready to lounge at us and tear us apart with its divinely created tools of assasination. My breath became slower and slower as I gasp for air, my legs trembled as I watched Fariz ran for his life, he didn't look back. He kept running, I pulled out my hands reaching for him as my throat was to occupied to gasp for air to threw any voice away. I tripped and fell to the solid ground. I felt my skin tore as my knee and chin hit the sandy ground. The barking was right behind my ear, It was was horifying, the NEXT thing i knew. I was on my bed, at home, i felt the cold breezy wind of my air-conditioner brushed softly against my skin. my body covered with my blanket, i reached down to my knee, there wasn't any injuries. THANK GOD IT WAS JUST AN EFFIN DREAM. I laughed alone in my room. switched off the lights, remembered bout my dream. Firstly, i was in Melaka, but the shoplots i went was in Ipoh. Pffft, don't make no sense at all. Oh yeah and the dog was from Harry Potter movie. LOLS. ugh. back to sleep~

Not Now Not Today

How to deal with the unexpected,farewell
Torments me day by day.
It happened so suddenly,
Memory does not fade away.
You were here and now you’re gone,
It hurts to live on

The memory of you
Lingers everywhere,
Sending me into a trance
With just a single glance
Of where you were and what you did
Time away from us just slid.

You came and left,
With empty hands.
Despite all you did
You had no chance.
There is no reason or rhyme
To the reason or time of life’s dance.

What to do now that you parted?
Weep for loss?
Feel empty hearted?
For you no tears were wept
For selfish reasons I have regret,
Reasons I cannot forget.

Forgive myself just seems a cheat,
Do death and life have me beat?
Letting go is hard to do,
Especially with somebody like you.
My love, my brother, my friends, farewell I cannot say.
Not right now,
Not today

*Farhan Ello*